


Discussions

by Slothquisitor



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 13:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5541905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slothquisitor/pseuds/Slothquisitor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen and Mara learn a little about each other at the tavern in Haven. Follows Meetings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discussions

Mara was finally beginning to feel at ease in Haven. After the events of the conclave she was worried that there would be repercussions at some point, but it seemed that everyone had decided she was sent from Andraste and was not responsible for the death of the Divine. The people seemed to have moved on from blaming her to believing in her.   
In the last month she had spent time trying to be useful and she hoped by cooperating she would prove her innocence. She had traveled to the Hinterlands where she closed rifts and tried to help the people displaced by the fighting. But tonight she was in the tavern with Varric. 

Varric had dragged her away from her library. He claimed she needed a night off from the books.

Mara found that she could relate most closely with Varric, who had also been a prisoner around the time of the conclave. He understood her unease and that helped Mara feel a little more comfortable. She liked hearing his stories and he liked telling them to anyone who would listen.

That evening Mara was sitting with Varric listening to a story about him and the Champion of Kirkwall. Mara noticed that Varric was often eager to tell stories about himself and others, but very rarely willing to talk about himself directly. Mara didn’t mind. She understood the desire borne out of self preservation all too well. 

About the time he reached the end of his story Commander Cullen walked in. Mara didn’t want to admit it, but her heart started racing the second she noticed him. He looked much better than he had the night before in the basement of the Chantry. 

Mara tried to push the the memories of the night before away from her mind. It had been odd to see him so vulnerable. They had never talked before, except in a professional capacity and it had felt strange. 

“Curly, come on over! I was just telling a story you’re familiar with!” Varric roared, inebriation setting in. 

He sat directly across from Mara, “Anything he says about me is libel.” 

“Oh I think that Tumblelina can make those decisions for herself, don’t you think Curly?” Varric joked. 

“Tumblelina?” Cullen asked looking at Mara. 

“Don’t look at me. I don’t answer to it,” Mara rolled her eyes. 

Varric laughed, “Oh come on. It’s like the fairy story, Thumbelina. Because she’s short-”

“You’re one to talk - dwarf,” she jabbed. 

“But she’s also incredibly clumsy, thus Tumble-lina,” Varric said proudly. 

“I didn’t live my life with walls and doors constantly needing to be watched out for,” Mara defended. She felt her face growing pink.

“I’ll give you that, but it doesn’t really explain your propensity for tripping over nothing. And there was that time at Redcliffe Farm-” Varric was suddenly muffled by Mara’s hand. Varric was apparently forgetting that she had sworn him to secrecy about that particular act of clumsiness. 

“And that is quite enough for this evening,” Mara gave him a pointed look. 

Cullen laughed, “Now I have to hear the story.”

“Come find me sometime when this one,” Varric said pointing at Mara, “isn’t around.” He got up and left the table, leaving Mara and Cullen alone. There was an uncomfortable silence that accompanied his departure while they both stared at the table. It was Mara who spoke first. 

“Feeling better?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

More silence. More staring at the table. 

Cullen cleared his throat and Mara thought about excusing herself but then he finally spoke, “It occurred to me last night that I really don’t know that much about you.”

Mara chuckled a little, “What do you want to know?”

“Let’s start with the basics. Where are you from?”

Mara thought about the question. It was simple enough, for a shem anyways. Not really for her. “All over really. We travelled a lot. Most recently my clan was near Wycome.”

Cullen nodded,“Did you enjoy traveling around a lot growing up?”

Mara thought back to the conversations with her keeper, trying to understand why they had to move around so much. It seemed like just when Mara felt like she had found someplace to call home, they moved on. Sometimes not coming back for months or even years. “I didn’t really know differently, but as I got older I sort of craved a certain permanence. Someplace that really truly felt like home you know?” 

“Not really. I haven’t seen ‘home’ in years. Home was sort of just where ever I was sent. But I that was the life I chose when I decided to become a Templar.”

Mara was surprised, “You choose that life? I always got the impression that it was something children were sort of promised into.” 

“That does happen, but many choose it. I grew up as a boy watching the Templars in my town. I wanted to be just like them. I must have shown some promise because they offered to train me when I was thirteen.”

“Thirteen? That’s so young.”

“I wasn’t the youngest to train. Some children are promised to the order at infancy. We sort of looked out for one another.”

“You must have been very committed to your beliefs to join the Chantry.”

Cullen nodded, “I was. I still am. I may have left the order, but my belief in Andraste hasn’t changed. Speaking of beliefs, I notice you don’t have the….markings on your face, like most Dalish. I thought it was a religious practice.”

“The vallaslin, and no I don’t. It is a religious practice for the most part. It’s also a coming of age ritual. I don’t have the vallaslin on my face, but I do have the vallaslin.” Mara rolled the sleeve up on her left arm revealing the intricate tattoo. 

The dark blue lines looped in and out of one another against her fair skin.Cullen’s eyes looked at her arm in amazement. He stared at her arm a long time, following the lines, Mara could feel his gaze as it moved up her arm.

“What does it mean?” he breathed.

“It’s the elven pantheon. All of our gods, represented. It’s not required to get the vallaslin on our faces. Though many Dalish do, more to set us apart from humans than really to honor the god that they adorn their face with. I wanted to do something different. I made the argument to my keeper that as the future spiritual leader for the clan I should not favor one god over another, but -” Mara let her words drop off. She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him why she had really gotten the pantheon over the more traditional vallaslin. 

He looked at her expectantly, his amber eyes bearing into her own. She sighed, “I wasn’t really sure about the whole idea that we’re supposed to honor the gods and alienate ourselves from humans in the same act. So many of my people use the vallaslin as a way to further distance ourselves from humans. So I compromised. I followed my people’s traditions, but also followed what I believed.”

“What you believed….Oh I suppose it was rather ignorant of me to assume, but the Herald of Andraste isn’t even Andrastian?”

“Not really, no. I have read the Chant of Light,” she admitted. It was something she had picked up a copy of in Haven. There was no shortage of copies in the Chantry. She was curious, but also felt a certain duty to at least understand what it was all of these people believed her to be. 

“Really?”

“Yes. I found it...” Mara paused, looking for the right words. The last thing she wanted to do was offend someone whose beliefs were admittedly strong, “interesting. I felt that I should at least know something about the person I’m apparently Herald to.”

“But you don’t believe?”

“I want to. I do. I don’t feel the belief in the elven gods and Andraste are mutually exclusive. Our gods don’t challenge The Maker. It’s just a different way of explaining things. But if I believe Andraste sent me that means that maybe I was chosen for this for a reason, rather than it all being just a coincidence.”  
Cullen’s face remained emotionless through her admission, but then his eyes softened, “I don’t believe in coincidence. I think there is a reason that you’ve got the anchor and that you survived the conclave when no one else did.”

“I wish I had your conviction. Cassandra’s too. She’s so stalwart in what she believes. I feel so much pressure, like everyone’s beliefs rest on me.”

“You’re doing just fine.I’m quite impressed you sat down and read The Chant of Light. It isn’t light reading,” Cullen laughed.   
Mara decided to change the topic of conversation off of her, “Don’t templars have to memorize it?”

“Parts of it, yes. I spent many nights watching a candle burn down while trying to memorize it in preparation to taking my vows.”

“Templars take vows? ‘I swear to The Maker to watch all mages’ - That sort of thing?” Mara asked.

“There’s a vigil first. You’re meant to be at peace during that time, but your life is about to change. When it’s over, you give yourself to a life of service. That’s when you’re given a philter - your first draught of lyrium - and it’s power. As Templars, we are not to seek wealth or acknowledgement. Our lives belong to The Maker and the path we have chosen.”  
The next question Mara asked spilled out of her mouth before she could realize exactly what she was asking, “A life of service and sacrifice. Are templars expected to give up...physical temptations?”

“Physical? Why….why would you..That’s not expected. Templars can marry - although there are rules around it, and the order must grant permission...some may choose to give up more to prove their devotion, but it’s, um, not required,” Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and looked around the tavern. 

She had made him uncomfortable. She wanted to fix it, but found herself blurting out, “Have you?”

“Me? I...um...no, I’ve taken no such vows. Maker’s breath - can we speak of something else?”

Mara groaned inwardly. Just when she and Cullen had been making some progress, talking as friends, she had gone and ask him if he had taken celibacy vows? She couldn’t even blame the sheer stupidity of it on the ale, as she’d barely touched it. 

“You know….I should….um...I I should go….” Mara stood awkwardly nodding, “Yup.” 

She made her way to the door, but tripped on a chair sending her almost into the floor. However, by what was most certainly less than graceful maneuvering she managed to keep herself mostly upright. Cullen stared at her with a mixture of embarrassment and concern. Mara felt her cheeks grow hot. 

“I’m fine!” She called with a wave and then walked out into the blessedly cool air which she hoped would neutralize the burning in her cheeks.


End file.
